50 things about me

Posted on January 21st, 2007 in Uncategorized by abbey llanes

1. How tall are you barefoot?
- 5′1

2. Have you ever smoked?
- yeah but i’ve cut back to 2 sticks a day

3. Do you own a gun? And do you know
how to use it?
- nope..

4. Who’s your best friend/s?
- lai, bambie, jr, i guess bem too coz he’s really climbing up the charts..

5. Do you get nervous before "meeting
the parents"?
- of course.. it’s the folks you should really be worried about (next to the bestfriend who happens to be of the opposite sex..)

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
- err.. *snigger*

7. What’s your favorite Christmas song?
- jingle bell rock

8. What do you prefer to drink in the
morning?
- good ‘ol H2O

9. Can you do push ups?
- i’ve never tried

10. Is your bathroom clean?
- yes

11. What’s your favorite piece of
jewelry?
- watches..

12. Do you like painkillers

- no.. "like" being the operative word.

13. What is your secret weapon to lure
in the opposite sex?
- wit and charm

14. Do you own a knife?
- yes. a hot pink swiss army knife given by my boyfriend to "protect" me.. haha!! from him, i suppose..

15. Do you have a car?
- yep

16. Middle Name?
- escara

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact
moment?
- i hate mondays
- i haven’t studied for tax yet.
- how can i get my hands on an iphone

18. Name the last 3 things you have
bought:
- gas. (juiced up my car)
- a pink top for iboy’s wedding
- birthday gift for the twins

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink:
- water, vodka cruiser, wine (i think I may be alcoholic)

20. What time did you wake up today?
- haven’t slept for the last 28 hrs.

22. Current worry
- there’s too many of them i can’t even keep track.

23. Current hate?
- love stories and romantic comedies.

24. Favorite place to be?
- at home. in my room.

25. Least favorite place to be?
- class. on deck for a recit.

26. Where would you like to go?
- the bahamas and dubai

27. Do you own slippers?
- of course!

28. What shirt are you wearing?
- off white wrap-around

29. Do you burn or tan?
- burn baby!! hahaha

30. Favorite color(s)?
- red, pink, black

31. Would you be a pirate?
- i already am.. been ripping stuff off the internet since i was 17..

32. Last time you had an alcoholic
drink?
- a few hours ago.

33. What songs do you sing in the
shower?
- the songs i know that people would pounce on me for for singing in public. i can’t sing a tune to save my life.

34. What did you fear was going to get
you at night as a child?
- rumplestiltskin.. it’s true..

35. What’s in your pocket/s right now?
- car keys, 4 pellets of gum and 2 bucks worth of change

36. Last thing that made you laugh?
- migs sniffing on patrick’s used briefs and tossing it over to marla’s head.. HAHAHA..

37. Best bed sheets you had as a child?
- the Rainbow Bright sheets given by my ninang

38. Worst injury you’ve ever had?
-  bad bruises from when I flew off a speeding motobike.

40. How many TVs do you have in your
house?
- 2 in qc 5 back home

41. Who is your loudest friend?
- tyrone lacson. it’s weird cause he’s a guy and he acts like a ditz..

42. Who is your most silent friend?
- lyda

43. Does someone have a crush on you?
- yeahyeahyeah.. i know one.. and I tease him a lot about it..

44. Do you wish on shooting stars?
- yes. twice. it didn’t come true.

45. What is your favorite book?
- The Little Price by Antoine de Saint-Exupery

46. What is your favorite candy?
- not a big candy fan..

47. What song do/did you want played
at your wedding?
- the way you look tonight

49. What were you doing 12 AM last
night?
- playing with the kiddos

50. What was the most expensive thing
you bought with your own money?
- a car

I wish I knew how to quit you

Posted on January 12th, 2007 in Uncategorized by abbey llanes

They say that it ain’t over ’til the fat lady sings. But who is the fat lady? Manang siopao who sells dimsum in the school canteen? I’ve never heard her sing. Or my tita monchang? I’ve never heard her sing either.

I’ve done a terrible thing. I have broken up with my one true love. I pushed him away, and now he doesn’t want me back. Classic. The story of my forlorn lovelife.

It was my fault. I’d apologize a million times if I could and I’d turn back the time if it were possible. I need anothr chance, but I don’t think that he can find it in his heart to give in.

I’ve realized that I can’t imagine life without him, but I have to move on. He doesn’t even want to see me again for closure. So I guess this is closure for me.

After all the stops and starts. It has finally ended. I’m confused. I still can’t believe that it’s all over. One lousy phone call and that  was it. Everything crumbled.

Nothing else had to be said other than "OK na. Ayoko na rin." My fate was seald and the die was cast.

No sorries. No goodbyes. There was a beep and the line went dead. My tears ran down my face for two whole days and one whole night. My eyes are still red and swollen. I cried while i studied, I cried while I ate, must’ve cried in my sleep too. I dreamt about him and he was with someone else and he was happy. I wasn’t. Still am not.

What hurt me most was that, no goodbye was said. He just dropped the line and never took my calls again.

All the laughs, the fun times, the plans, the kilig moments, it all doesn’t matter anymore. All I have now is the pain. After all the hell I went through trying to stick it out, this must be what is meant to be.

An apology: I’m sorry. I’d say sorry a million times if I could, if I knew that it would bring you back tome. I’m sorry kase pinatulan kita on yuor birthday. That was your special day. One of the two days of the year na di kita dapat awayin or bigyan ng sakit ng ulo. What I did was unforgiveable. I can understand why you don’t want to talk to me. After all that you did for me. I was selfish and I was a fool. I’m sory. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Love you much still. You’re right, it’s not working out. It doesn’t matter how much we love each other. Love doesn’t always cut it. Take Care. I’m sorry.

This is me accepting defeat. This closure will have to do. No goodbye has to be said because we never said hello when we first met.

______________________________________________________________________________________

This is me, trying to psych myself up.

"I’m having a really rough day. Class is over and I don’t know what to do. I have a thing to attend with a guy friend but it isn’t until 9pm.

<Sigh>

Get a grip abbey!! Move on.. Don’t think about it already. It’s hard. Like hell it is. Hurts as much too. What else can you do? You’ve given it your best. You’ve got midterms to think off. Bandonell’s tax exam won’t be easy. You have to focus on that!!

Aaargghh. Crap! Of all the days that I could have felt lousy, why did it have to be his birthday??? I never learn!! Why? WHY? WHY??

*deep breath*

I should compose myself. I shouldn’t be this affected. Ang daming iba jan.

But then it’s not him. It wouldn’t be the same. I wouldn’t feel the way I felt for him.

*another deeeeep breath*

I should be happy. I should stop this apocalyptic outlook. Kung kaya nya ko tiisin, sha din kaya ko. It’s ok to lose him. May dadating pang iba. Someone who’ll love me the way I’d want to be loved. Someone I don’t have to share. It’s not the end of the world. Need to get off my ass, get in my car, go home get dressed and go out with that guy I kinda like who’s been crushing on me forever.

The worst is over. I’ve survived the first night. Everything after this’ll be peanuts."

I think I’ve gone mental. Do crazy people think they’re crazy? Maybe I’m not. Not yet anyway. I need drugs — anti depressants. Will go to the drugstore now and get some.

Dammit!! I hate my life.