:: smiLe::

Posted on March 27th, 2006 in Uncategorized by abbey llanes

Sometimes i sit at home and wonder how it be if he had loved me, truly loved me. Yes, I learned a while ago that kind of thing it never happens for me, and so i go around and just pretend love is not for me. I play the circus clown around my friends make them laugh and they wont see that you never let them see u sweat, dont want them to think the pain runs deep, Lord know its killing me.

So i put on my make up put a smile on my face and if anyone ask me everything is ok. Im laughing coz no one knows the joke is on me, coz im dyin inside with my pride and a smile on my face.

Sometimes i sit at home by the phone hopin he might call me, but he dont call me. But then I realize dreams come true aren’t for girls like me not like me, and so i go around with my head up like it ain’t no thing and when the boys around with all my friends im into other things coz you never let them see you sweat dont want them to think the pain runs deep, lord knows its killing me.

Its not easy. Sometimes its hard to its not the life that I would choose, but what else can i do if he dont love me. No if he dont want me im not about to sit around let myself go.

you used to take my breath away

Posted on March 8th, 2006 in Uncategorized by abbey llanes

To the B GurLs:: Promise! Last na to. After talaga, res judicata na yung issue and I’ll let go. Di nadin ako mag hahanap ng true love coz after this, I’ll know, di talaga sha totoo. Last ditch attempt na to!

"It’s impossible to grasp how powerful love is. It can sustain us through the most trying times or motivate us to make extraordinary sacrifices. It can force decent men to commit the darkest deeds or compel ordinary women to search for hidden truths; and long after we’re gone, love remains, burned into our memories. We all search for love, but some of us, after we’ve found it, wish we hadn’t."

I wish I hadn’t.

WHAT I WANT SOON

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  • get married
  • walk down the aisle in a fab wedding gown
  • guilt-free lazy evenings and "family day" sundays

WHAT I WANT IN A GUY

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Someone who

  • gives me flowers (just because…)
  • takes care of me (specially now)
  • can fight for me
  • makes me laugh
  • doesn’t leave me hanging on to empty promises
  • wouldn’t feel ashamed to let everyone know that we’re in love
  • wouldn’t betray me
  • who’s mine — all mine!! (Ring a bell annoi?? hehehe)

WHAT I HAVE

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  • him (but not really..)

WHAT I AM NOW

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  • a dumb toy who has to make a character-defining decision soon
  • fell in love with someone I wasn’t supposed to (didn’t we all?)
  • living with the guilt (guilt or what could have been?)
  • can’t live with the repression and denial anymore