fRom the 4 coRneRs of my mind II

Went to school yesterday to check up on my grades. Didn’t fail a single subject. Whoopeee! To think that I was so worried. Even exceeded the required QPI by a a couple of points. (jude, i know.. hindi rin ako mayabang. Just lemme have a go at the limelight. I’m ecstatically happy!*snigger*) Had dinner with the student council peeps and then met donna at quattro for her much needed alcohol and ciggie break. Ryan and new found friend Joseph Pua met us there. Grabe. We were like a bunch of kids gibbering a dismaying mix of extempore ramblings over drinks and sashimi about corny pinoy movies and channel 2 sitcoms and soaps. Didn’t know ryan was such a fanatic! Donna, as expected, was a notch less than clueless about the late 80’s - early 90’s pinoy pop culture. I was on a high!Ever felt happiness suffuse all the cells in your body and a smile light up your face? I did, yesterday. It was fantastic! Made me forget about my probs for the time being. Time for a reality check.

My camarilla involves lai, jay, jude, mia, donna, lady, chichi mm, dianne, aga, and kathy. My very own group of not-so-secret and scheming advisers. They’re all brilliant. Always ready to inflame or ‘deflame’ my passions. They give advice (not always sound, but is reason just the same) to ameliorate my exiguous circumstances. A girl could never ask for more. Especially one as indolent as I am! A million thanks!

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Beautiful weather was still in Dubai when I left, how did it get so freaking hot here in Manila? Been here one whole week and "exciting" is yet to happen. Nothing but problems. I could rant all day long - but of course i wouldn’t do that.

Been arguing a lot with Jansen. Everything is so not cool. I think I’m being taken for granted but he says he’s just busy trying to clinch this project with NAWASA (or whichever utility company). I don’t know. Guess I’m just vying for attention. Particulary his! Been going out on drinking binges even on a week day. Mostly with Jude. Met up with Donna and Lady in Marina a few days back and we turned it into a photo op. She was kinda nagry at me when i said i might not be able to make it since i was already with jay. She screamed at me.. shit scary on my part.. everything’s cool with us though. Lady’s got her own set of probs and I’m beginning to think that everyone’s a basket case this time of the year. Everyone’s looking for either love or money. Guess you can’t have both. Buti nalang Jay and Donna were there. They kinda helped ease the tension.

Jay fell prey (yet again!) to my ravings, rantings, whinnings and what nots. The ride home was all sobbed-out. He’s pretty used to it by now. Jude and him used to joke around alot that this happens every summer. I fly out to some exotic destination and come back with a broken heart. Must be something with clean air that get’s to me. Separation sets paranoia in. Give me smog anytime.

Note to self >> must remember to post the photos we took.

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Most people live lives in quiet desperation. Could this be true? If so,  am I one of them? Or could it be just because I’m tired of this lifestyle? Contrary to popular belief, I don’t lead such a charmed life. I just have a different way of dealing with typical problems/situations that life decides to hurl at me. Do I really need to ponder about this or is it just some mental gymnastics I’ve decided to undertake for fear that I’ve become ‘airheaded-ly shallow’ over the summer for hanging out with the people I do? *sigh* I need someone with a tad more sense than I do to talk to. Someone like Lai. Miss you ma! I know you take time to read my posts. So does Chyle, Kren, Mike, Seph, JR, J, some of our other friends, and, a few unmentionables. I’m not trying to pick a fight here; just trying to drive a point.What exactly does ‘quiet desperation’ mean? I have a vague idea but I guess it can’t be THAT accurate [vague nga diba! i swear, i'm on the road to stupid land..]; it’s only a contextual/operational definition. Dennis dela Torre, if you’re reading this, or probably vangie, please tell me what it means. Pardon my ignorance, but the thought is a far cry from the posts which I started in the bulletin board in the IL Student Council Office. Does being intransingent veer you away from the being ‘quietly desparate’? Does that even make sense? Jordz, enlighten me please.. Seph, don’t evangelize me! *snigger* 

Err.. got to stop this before you guys think I’ve gone bonkers. This so not me. Anyway, will be flying in sooner than scheduled. To the gimik buddies >> Trust me, there’ll be stuff for us to do right after i breeze through immigration and baggage claim.

TTYL!!   

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